Only now, over two weeks after taking the CAE, as I sit
outside a café in Amsterdam on a layover, do I finally feel like life is
returning to some sense of normalcy. For
someone who reluctantly started a blog in the first place, there has been a
small something missing inside of me as the weeks have rolled by and I have not
posted. As I started my CAE journey in
January my friends who had just taken it assured me that my life would be very
different in the coming months. While
they were right, I am not sure they knew just how encompassing that statement
would be.
First, the obvious.
For the last 2-3 months before the CAE, I had no life. No, really - between work, CAE studying and
family time there were no empty slots in my schedule. Past times such as reading for pleasure, blog
writing, and….oh, I don’t know – spending time with friends were shelved. There was so much to read, so much to discuss. There were times where my experience served
me well in preparing me for CAE scenarios.
And then there were those domains that the more I learned, the more I
found out I did not know. By the time
the day of the test arrived, I at least felt like there really was no more I
could have done to prepare myself for the exam.
Three hours (and 5 minutes) later, I walked out – slightly numb,
definitely in a daze and in a state of disbelief that it was over.
Did I pass? I have
heard of people who have walked out of the exam confident they passed with
flying colors who fail, and others who walk out lamenting that they got the
most basic questions wrong who pass.
Me? I think I did ok, came up
short and will have to retake it. 6 more
weeks upon writing to find out – and also not the point of this post.
So what have the two weeks, reentry into life period been like you ask? I had a book
waiting on my nightstand that took me under a day to devour (a bookworm, I am
usually reading 2-3 books at a time – to only read CAE books was probably one
of the greatest challenges). Slowly I
have been able to find the time to call and reconnect with old friends. In my four and a half months of studying I
missed new babies and jobs, a wedding and a separation, a lot of birthdays
(just wasn’t on facebook everyday to remind me) and who knows what else. I have yet to tackle my Google Reader, which
haunts me with the number of well over 1,000 posts waiting to be read that I know I should just hit “Mark all as read”
but am pre-remorseful over the missed insights.
Exercise, better eating, sleep – they are all leveling back out.
So if it is all returning to the way it was, what has
changed? In short, me. I am confident that I would like to become a
CEO of an association someday. While
there are many paths that people take to achieve this position, I can not
imagine aspiring to this goal without the knowledge that I have gained. My studies for the CAE have given me insight
into aspects of the association world that, simply, never crossed my mind
before. Now when I hear about an
affinity program I think UBIT. When
before I saw exclusivity agreements in discussion I never realized the possible
connect to anti-trust risks. Though I
may not be an expert in every area, I feel as though I have a working knowledge
of most and am clear on where I need to really continue to concentrate my
educational development.
But here’s the thing – even if I don’t pass the CAE (in which case I
hope I will the second time), I am a better association professional for the
experience. This is not something that
should only be for those aspiring to C-level positions. In my review there were a number of times
that I said – if I had known this, then the actions I took as a
specialist/manager/director would have been different. CAE preparation is not about a test – it is
about knowing your profession so you can act from a knowledgeable and reliable
standpoint.
I no longer look at our association world, or the nonprofit
world in general, the same. I have a
greater appreciation for the complexities that must be constantly balanced for
fairness, legality and success. Though
it has only been a few months, I feel older (or maybe the CAE just gave me more
grey hair) – but in a good way. And all
of that is tempered with an excitement for how much more there is to discover
and know. I know that this has just been
one step in my journey….but it has been
a defining one.
It feels good to be back.
It feels good to write again (never thought I would say that). Sorry I was gone so long – but I hope my time
away will lead to a greater level of insight in my posts.
